fantastic n' mundane...

I started this blog to platform the random things that comes in my mind, in case I let those thoughts pass I'd lose 'em forever. So I started writing and am loving it. then I thought to myself we say/do/write things about things so mundane but never say/do/write things to people who really matter, who in many ways contributed as to who you are now. Hence, I started to write 'bout those people (one at the time and when they needed good boost to their ego!!) under the tag :: salutation.

maile tero picture ma tero dream figure banaideko- patali;)

     A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain? - these are the beautiful words from  Khalil Gibran. And I'd say true that. I and moti (am taking the liberty and calling you moti), became better friends when we were literally poles apart. We would mutate over times, changing and maturing, and eventually meeting all this people who would groom us and contribute to our life experiences. We lost touch and when we talked with after year or so, it felt like we had lot in common after all. She had grown as a person - wiser, stronger, better. I had changed along the way. And this time we kept touch. I can proudly say we are better friends now.

     The following year I went through some distractions and fell into those heartly matters. I have to admit that was harder than I thought and even though I have been mentally stronger one but as we say "heart has its reasons that heart doesn't know" I was living in oblivion. I learned that denying is not being strong its simply denying. I also learned that nothing is automatic in life - happiness, relationship, money - you have to work your ass off (or sometimes easily but work you must) to get 'em. She was going through the similar situations. Long story short am proud of myself that I came through it beautifully and as I look back I smile because it all happened, I don't regret that it happened and hell I wouldn't change a thing because whatever happened before the climax was so beautiful.

     I have to agree her situation was much worse but a scar is a scar and sooner or later all scar heals. It hurts when you cut one finger or two, so though different our experiences share some common grounds. And after all these time I realized she is still stuck. If only she could see through my eyes. She'd then see herself as this awesome person - bold, strong, sensible. If only she could see all the changes (good bits) she had brought onto herself since high school till today. Its amazing how much improvements I see in her.

     Though there are things I can't say in public forum like this, I however, have to agree discreetly that moti you deserve the good things in life. Letting go is just as important as breathing sometimes. It appeared as if you've sunk into the bowels of the earth during the period occupied by these fantastic and mundane feelings, and its about time to get in touch with what's innit for you. I've already told you the things that I had to and I just hope you suck it all in and put your best foot forward. Unlike what you think people do care, we are our experiences and we all have had our share of trial and turbulence's. People might not come up to you and offer all the help they can but they do care. May be sometimes we are the one holding back too tight and not asking for the help we need. We have to speak up if we want to be heard, stand up if we want to be seen and ask for help when we need it.

     Enough said. Let me remind you one last time that nothing comes automatic. Take one day at a time and pause to let good bits in and shove off the bad bits. Life is just too awesome not be lived the way you envision, and the time will come when we will look back, smile and would say I handled it the best possible way. So here's hoping that you get the things you deserve and most importantly you deserve the the things that you get. Much love. Stay insanely happy.

.............................................................................................................

Do I (You) matter?

     Our lives are real our circumstances and casualties are real but we live a lie everyday we wake up. Our economy is planned whether it rises or falls, our presidents are picked for us. We are told who to love (Justin Beiber and Lebron James right now) and who to hate. Whose music to love and whose fashion sense to mock. They hype the movies calling it whatever names they can - be it summer blockbusters or 3D. Hell if it wasn't for the hype neither Harry Potter, Twilight nor The Da Vinci code would be the mega hit they are now. Our brains are fucked up big time so much so that what we see seems to be the best there is. The shampoo commercial advert that we see as frequent as 20 times more than the other shampoos suddenly seems more appealing (we never bother to cross-check/hell with it, why should we even cross check?). If you think with lil' more precision we all loved (when he was peaking) then hated (all those rumors) and then loved (after his death) Michael Jackson, and all of us did that in the same pattern, how awfully awesome. Some professions have already been decided as superior than the others, and some race/color/sex preference gets more rights than the other ones. We are programmed, we mimic each other and claim to be individualistic. I liking blue and others picking the yellow doesn't make me different. Choices alone doesn't make us different. But alas, what can we do? When will we know that we are letting ourselves to be controlled.? Yes, we study all week, do mundane chorus, eat. We party, drink beer, marry, and produce kid. We think we are genius but we are just a mimicker. Life is to become an artist or an inventor not a repeater... not at all.


     Sometimes I wish life was more like the play(scripted or not)/like movie; I don't mean I wish every life experience had the musical backdrop with synchronized dance moves, nor am I wishing for the slow motion action sequence with some antagonists and protagonists either walk off into the cold mountain delta and live happily ever after, but rather that we all had an audience, because even the most vile characters are felt deeply, given an audience, and the most beautiful ones are applauded or cried over; it's the audience that makes these people important - but we just go through everything with only a few people noticing and even those that do have no real insight into our own moral dilemmas or greatest achievements. We might be devoid of an audience but we are judged nonetheless and those who judge have no business judging. They neither know the struggles we have had, the tears we have cried, the love we have lost, the joys we have felt... but judge they will with worldly yardstick. Nobody wrote in our birth certificate that life would be fair, so be it. All I wish and all we wish is that we matter and hopefully we all do.

.............................................................................................................

The Whole Is Greater Than The Sum Of Its Parts

     I had been meaning to write this particular blog entry lately, but got caught up with some honky-dory stuffs that I just couldn't. From this semester we started our surgical studies. And on first day of this month we had our first hospital rounds. Skip the boring lecture part and onto the part when we went to see the patients in the critical situations (just so you know some of 'em must be already dead, as I write this // so I really meant critical).


     There are two things I'd like to highlight and shoot. Firstly, its no fancy-wancy business as ever so burgeoning teevo-serials hint but lacks all the lacklusture to the point that it might surprise you. Secondly, I was surprised to see  myself completely inquisitive but totally emotionless. That got me thinking. Ain't it funny when we go all mushy when we see the character in some movies die and won't empathize with the dying person right in front of us. Don't think that you are any different. People who works and deal with medics (doctors, pple who work in a mortuary or perhaps snipers and bounty hunters too) might have gotten better at veiling their emotions at times with all that practice but it has more to do with how unattached they are with the dying or dead in question.


     With characters in movies come their bigger and beautiful life as a backdrop accompanied with awesome musical score. And with the demise of those characters, we empathize not only with the dead but also with the people who mourn the death. To shove it down your throat, what I'm trying to say is that our life as a whole is greater than the some of its part. We relate not with the tooney-looney looks but what come with it. We click with people not because they are brawny, tall, voluptuous, with big tits or whatever but because they've lived this life that we can relate to. My mum always said "we are our experiences" as I was growing up and now I see how. As I stood there staring at those wafer thin dying patient supported by all those machines, I knew nothing about her. But had I had known the full life she had lived, I could have reacted differently.

     I deduce that what my mum says is so true. We are our experiences, we're the laughs we've laughed, we're scars-fat-wrinkles we've earned, we're the bones we've broken... So give yourself a due credit and give a big pat on your back.


P.S ... brawny, tall, voluptuous, big tits... might not always be relatable but can be wholesomely attractive.
P.S.S... being devoid of emotions to see the dying can be understandable but don't discount on showing respect.

....................................................................................................................................................................