Never apologize for selfies. NEVER.

Because its been around since centuries. Great creative minds do it. Why shouldn't we?

moment like this

and yeah!!! that's moi.

     In the quite moment like this - within which time melts… within which I think of you, I and what could have been. In the quite moment like this… within which I think of the past, smile and get nostalgic... within which I need no words to express. Yes in the quite moment like this!!!

     In times silent surrender - I think of all the mundane thoughts… linger around… hover onto it… meanwhile gazing at nothingness. In times silent surrender… I steal a chance and look at you… silently… just so you won’t know. Yes in time’s silent surrender.

     In the numbness of this moment - I wish never to say goodbye… no adieu… but hellos… only hellos. In this numb moment I think what could have been if friends never depart… lovers never bid farewell… no hearts broken. Yes in the numbness of this moment.

     Sometimes it’s not about what you did but what you didn’t do in the given moment of time. Sometimes it’s not about laughter's but it’s about lazy quite moments; when you and I sit… ponder about past and future, about yesterday and tomorrow, about life’s peaks and valleys.

     With the lump in my throat I speak… with hole in my heart I smile… I stay silent… remain quiet. Goodbye friend… Until we meet again!!!

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such irregularities & life's hilarities!!

     Consider eternity. Submerge into the believe system which states that we're intertwined in this particular strand of time and the believe that this time will go to the end of eternity (I don't make much sense, do I?)!! Now consider the miniature strand of time. Let's just say the strand of time as minuscule as second. Scrutinize over all the possible things happening right this second, right this moment.


     Right about now some babies are coming to the world - someone somewhere passed away, half the world is asleep - other half working, some are enjoying pena-colada and mojitos - others are starving for a piece of bread, some are rejoicing the festival - some are tormented over the natural disaster that just passed away, some are enjoying the rain - some the bitter cold, some are reading the morning newspaper - some are preparing the dinner, some are making movies - some are face-booking, some are having sex - some experiencing orgasm, some hearts broken - some just falling in love, some just finished masturbating - some discovering the wonders of masturbation, some are changing the world - some are complaining, some are watching the news - some are the news, some are saving lives - some are ruining theirs, some just graduated - some entered school, some are on the plane flying - some on the sea floating, some kissing - others hugging, some making music - some making a blunderous mistake... aha life!! Just a second but such irregularities, something common but life's hilarities!!


     A second of difference can make you a winner or the runner-up, one second might cost you bucks, this single strand of time might be the time you needed not to miss the subway you just did, a split of second decision can change the course of your life, its in this minuscule strand of time in which numerous people got shot. This unfathomable fleeting moment constitutes in it, infinite emotions and actions. A second my friend, just a second...


     Footnote :: We are not standardized processed sausages meant to look, taste and feel the same. Enjoy being different and the different things we get to do in life. We might be sharing this strand of time but each of us have different things to do, different things to see, different things to feel and experience. So many lives - so many experiences. May be each one of our experiences is like a piece in a jigsaw puzzle and when fit together will make the complete bigger beautiful picture!! So keep doing the things you ought to do and keep doing it as long as you wake up in the morning feeling fresh. So my friends don't you think life's irregularities and hilarities is awesome?? ...because I do!!

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plethora of favorite foods, family, friends & fun!!

     Life has its ways of pulling and pushing us, giving or taking things from us!! Much like empty vessel we allow plethora of emotions to flow within us. Don't you sometimes wake up and feel like you can change the bloody damn world and some other time you wake up feeling whats the point. Wish I could decipher complexities of how we work, so that, I could flush out the bits that I don't like and prioritize the bits I love. But life doesn't work that way, does it? It throws at us these series of things - like deaths, celebrations, graduation, heartaches... - and we learn to handle it with time. We grow up to not trusting people, to be more cautious that we ought to, to plaster the smile on our face and answer I'm doing great when somebody inquires how are you today, we mutate with time, we grow!!


     Am not immune to those plethora of  growing up sensibilities. But truth be told, I think I'm more inclined to the theory (if any), which encourages us to get in touch with our younger sensibilities; when we trusted people, when things were tad too simple, when feeling of forgiveness was mutual, when we were happy it showed in our face, when we were sad tears would tell the story, when friendship was fun and only meant for fun, when you either loved or hated somebody, when looking good was not an issue, when life was full of possibilities and when we had dreams to travel to the moon, to the place as far as Antarctica, when cartoon mattered more than global warming and such other plethora of young sensibilities. Yes, truth be told we don't become wiser with the age but the opposite.


     There are tons of people I'd rather not socialize with, I thought. But we had teensy-weensy social gathering for the Nepalese New Year eve (13th April '11). I admit, I had more fun with people I thought I had NO business socializing. We munched on our favourite foods, we sang our favourite songs, we exchanged greetings with each other, we had fun, we experienced the true essence of celebration. Lil' hungover at the end but smiles in abundance. This teaches me to give chance to people, let them get the benefit of doubt!!


     We are social beings. Think about all the good memories you have had... they all include people, don't they? So we might as well try not to be too tight fisted, put ourselves out there on the map and surround ourselves with people who make us happy. Life is just too short, so try not be consumed with negatives. So to say, I believe that hating is as much in us as loving. Just make sure that you're hating the right things/persons and for the right reasons. If you are reading this, I hope, at least for today you try to reflect on your life and prioritize the things/people dear to you and give a second chance (or third, or fourth) to the people you've been shunning away from. We are humans after all, and if we don't make mistakes, we become boring. So let us all grow back to being young and get wiser along the way. Stay childish.


much love,
shailesh.
follow the tag :: chutzpah and :: uplifts  to get in touch with your positive self!!

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Do I (You) matter?

     Our lives are real our circumstances and casualties are real but we live a lie everyday we wake up. Our economy is planned whether it rises or falls, our presidents are picked for us. We are told who to love (Justin Beiber and Lebron James right now) and who to hate. Whose music to love and whose fashion sense to mock. They hype the movies calling it whatever names they can - be it summer blockbusters or 3D. Hell if it wasn't for the hype neither Harry Potter, Twilight nor The Da Vinci code would be the mega hit they are now. Our brains are fucked up big time so much so that what we see seems to be the best there is. The shampoo commercial advert that we see as frequent as 20 times more than the other shampoos suddenly seems more appealing (we never bother to cross-check/hell with it, why should we even cross check?). If you think with lil' more precision we all loved (when he was peaking) then hated (all those rumors) and then loved (after his death) Michael Jackson, and all of us did that in the same pattern, how awfully awesome. Some professions have already been decided as superior than the others, and some race/color/sex preference gets more rights than the other ones. We are programmed, we mimic each other and claim to be individualistic. I liking blue and others picking the yellow doesn't make me different. Choices alone doesn't make us different. But alas, what can we do? When will we know that we are letting ourselves to be controlled.? Yes, we study all week, do mundane chorus, eat. We party, drink beer, marry, and produce kid. We think we are genius but we are just a mimicker. Life is to become an artist or an inventor not a repeater... not at all.


     Sometimes I wish life was more like the play(scripted or not)/like movie; I don't mean I wish every life experience had the musical backdrop with synchronized dance moves, nor am I wishing for the slow motion action sequence with some antagonists and protagonists either walk off into the cold mountain delta and live happily ever after, but rather that we all had an audience, because even the most vile characters are felt deeply, given an audience, and the most beautiful ones are applauded or cried over; it's the audience that makes these people important - but we just go through everything with only a few people noticing and even those that do have no real insight into our own moral dilemmas or greatest achievements. We might be devoid of an audience but we are judged nonetheless and those who judge have no business judging. They neither know the struggles we have had, the tears we have cried, the love we have lost, the joys we have felt... but judge they will with worldly yardstick. Nobody wrote in our birth certificate that life would be fair, so be it. All I wish and all we wish is that we matter and hopefully we all do.

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our inbuilt GPRS system...

     Almost everyday I have early morning class. I just don't understand what good does it serve us with the classes as early as 8 am. Now 8 am is when class commences which means we'll have to do this tedious job of waking up at around 7 am (considering the time to freshen up, eat some breakfast, commute to school). But my dysania kicks in. I usually pass three level of snoozes, which is not bad at all. I have seen people snoozing as many as 20 times. By the time I realize its just too late, hysteria takes over. No time to eat breakfast, cloths thrown in helter-skelter fashion and I always end up forgetting something. This is the case if I happen to go to the class, most often I give in to my habit and simply miss the morning classes.

     The funny thing is whenever I decide to go to class beforehand, the morning seems much calmer. I wake up in time, dress-up and commute to class with nice music soothing to my eardrum. Today was one of such days. I was in the class much too early and even had some time to kill and hence, this post. As we come to think of it, ain't it all about willingness. The will to do whatever we choose to do will make a world of difference. And just like e=mc^2, the law of willingness is equally omnipresent. It can be applied from daily chores and can be stretched as far as to what we choose to do in the future. Our emotions and our willingness are actually just like the GPRS system. Whenever we linger around something that we don't like our body has ways to inform us, whenever there are people we rather not talk with well there is this awkward silence and you can't wait to get it over with, on contrary when we hover around whom we are totally crushing into... well you know what happens (red face, occasional stutter and accelerating heartbeat). If your job happens to be what you love to do, well congratulations you just zeroed into the very thing everybody in this world is vying for. And incase what you are doing happens to be something you don't love... hope your hellish life end like soonish. The gist remains the same, "when going gets tough, the tough gets going."


     So shall we all all give our inbuilt GPRS due credit that it truely deserves!! We often walk around saying I don't know. But take a moment and trust your feeling, our GPRS system is always giving hints in random ways, we might as well learn to get in sync with those random hints.

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things i know for sure 1.

disclaimer :: googled pic

     Starting today, I'd try to write something about things I know for sure. Lemme, remind myself and all you blog'buds that this is a mighty task. I was thinking earlier today about all the things I prolly know for sure and nothing (I repeat nothing), came to my mind. Even when I sit and try on my meditation skills I could never achieve that level of nothingness. But when I was talking with Sarina, who's literally like an agony aunt for me and one who gives me daily dose of positiveness (in small portions or big), I think I finally came up with one thing that is omnipresent.

     There are only number of things that I am sure or certain about, but I’m quite certain that there is a positive correlation between a person’s ability to embrace uncertainty and the degree to which that person enjoys life. Thoroughly put, you need to stretch your hands out and take what life throws at you and embrace it.. embrace uncertainties in life and enjoy the goodie good stuffs it brings alongside.

disclaimer :: googled pic

     Yes, we've choice to shut it down and we can always choose to de-channelize the stress uncertainty sometime brings along with it. But it also leaves out something far more important: All the really great stuff that we can’t even imagine. Things that are so incredibly amazing, they’re beyond our wildest dreams. Limiting uncertainties, limits ourselves. Like a robot we act and react the way out past has taught us and possibly never experience our full potential or experience serendipity. 

     There are things that needs to be planned but also you shouldn't be so immaculate with your plan that the blessing of uncertainty shuts its door towards you. After all certainty is the boring teacher and uncertainty brings all the fun with it. So follow your gut feeling and flash your dentals.

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