*Nepal’s Twitterati : This, that and those*

     Like Facebook wasn't enough, one day my curiosity got better of me and I signed up for Twitter. In the beginning of the beginning when I started, I couldn't decipher the phenomenal craze among Twitter users. Time passed by (as they always do) and I started getting recognition for my pseudo humor. People followed me and I followed some back. At first, I showed green flag to those who seemed friendly and who had certain type of language (meaning I could talk with them - soon I realized I wasn't there to make friends). After months it dawned on me that there exists several easily distinguishable mini clans within Twitter. Besides the poised writers, infamous and famous bloggers, mini to mega celebs - there were also the freaks, the stalkers, the haters and the pedophiles (yes, I said pedophiles). And don't judge them as yet - they all tweet just as passionately as any other Tom, Dick and Harry.


     All in the name of social networking (or entertaining). Here, I take the mighty initiative of categorizing Nepal’s Twitterati, so that you may know who you are following (or unfollowing).

• The Good for Nothing : Guilty as charged. No denial here - I fit this tag. We don't chat much. We make our presence felt and flood the timeline and then disappear for months. We get occasional bashing's and wholesome re-tweets. We are good for nothing. I deem, that is how twitter's supposed to be. In all seriousness - just the time pass.
• Nepal's very own Fox news : They are the one's who shocks me the most. They constantly scrutinize the media and don't fail to share even when Obama decides to pee. Did I mention that they do it 'constantly?' I have a theory - they are being paid to be awfully boring. They inform us about the latest gizmo's in Ktm town, latest political fiasco's. In fact they can rival Fox news - no kidding.
• Political-moral Watchdogs : They present society in a way they deem fit. They comment on what morally should and shouldn't be. What was the lame political move and what wasn't. Yes, they decide the fate of many things (sometimes unjustfully).
• The Sport Enthusiasts : Man!!! They sure do know how to flood the timeline. Now, I prefer to go to twitter instead of watching 'IT' live. Best thing about this kind is that they be-friend each other. Unlike blood brothers they get along and chat along.
• The Chat Monsters : Now they form mini-clans (I have my own). They form the tight group and render that whatever they talk about is private. They chat their heart away and rarely invite or accept the outside-of-the-group queries.
• The Promoters : My Blogger, my Word press, my Tumbler, my Website, my Flicker, my This, my That. Enough said.
• The Amused ones : They are the happy one's who re-tweet and favourite everything that attracts their fancy. Don't entertain them too much or else they will reply with their precious LOL's and LMFAO's. And please spare HAHA's and HEHE's.
• The Decent Writer : Despite having gazillions followers - these kinds will act amicable and humble. They sutely display and hint that they've master's degree form reputable university abroad. They don't change their display picture much and sure as hell comment on literature, philosophy and world politics. Of course their writing always have aristocratic grandeur - with certain panache. Their DP's usually comprise cartoon characters, cup of coffee or some mumbo jumbo figure.
• Haters and Whiners : Twitter is not your shrink no matter how cathartic you deem tweeting is. We all are fighting battles and we all know what pain is but Twitter is not going to help you cure your psychological agony. The Constant Whiner floods his / her timeline with tweets about how unfair God rendered their lives. “Ma homewurk suxxx”, one entered. I unfollowed her instantly.
• The Poised ones : They hardly follow back. They are too individualistic (in their head) and think that they are world famous (let along KTM town famous) all because of their twitter account. Wake up and smell the coffee.
• The Devotees : They devote all their time to promote one particular celeb. Either Rajesh Hamal or Rajnikant. By the power vested to me by twitter I hereby knight you "Hard Workers." But just one question what are you working so hard for. Can't you just have fun and let be.

     Am not claiming that this list is lock, stock and barrel. Just the word of advice - "In all seriousness, don't take my tweets seriously. 140 character tweet is shared all in good humor."

.............................................................................................................

*Make thyself happy*

     Fuck grammar!!! For a change let's treat Happiness not like an adjective but like a noun. Yes, a noun. Let's treat it like an object we are supposed to chase after. Feelings (adjectives) are distorted, you can't exactly weigh emotions but objects (nouns) on the other hand are visible and hence approachable. I shall hereby repeat - 'nothing comes automatic (unless there is fairy god mother who's willingly waving her magical wand), so work towards what you want.'

• If you've people who are dictating your life and telling you that you can't do certain something, punch them (not literally) on the face and show them that you can. And in case you fail, hide yourself under the table for sometime. Trust me you are more resilient than you think.
• Let go of 'I don't care attitude.' Everybody cares about what the other people says. Why do we care? Dang, because they are people. So hold your calm and do what you gotta do. Things will get better.
• Okay, I understand you'd not go to the person and literally (like literally) express that you care about 'em but show that you care whichever way you can. You wouldn't want to die before 'em knowing how much they meant to you (Did I just say death, Oh!!! Dark subject).
• Let yourself be happy. Cut the crap and crappy people out of your life. Hold the close ones tight. Buy yourself things - your favorite chocolate, that dress you want, that gizmo you've been eying on, every this and that you want (Here's the catch - bargain if you can and try not to run out of your credit).
• Drink hot chocolate, indulge in alcohol (drive safe), get more sunshine, keep touch with friends, initiate a phone call (don't give excuses like "i was going to call you"), laugh, dance and Facebook (Life is simple).
• Read good books. Hate reading... then watch good movies. Go outside and travel. Try new foods and meet people. People are  perennial source of entertainment. Happy people makes you happy.
• Bitch about people you don't like (know who to bitch to or with). It does good to you when you let go and ventilate out the negativity. It makes more space for good. So bitch and let go.
• Ask for what you want: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! So just say it!
• Stand up if you want to be seen. Speak up if you want to be heard.
• We are not standardized, processed sausages meant to look, taste and feel the same. Be glad that you are weird and different.
• Show that you are happy. Go and be sad when you have to. Express when you are angry.
• Remember, the things I wrote up there (and I was thinking and typing simultaneously) are just a reminder. We all know what to do. The real question is why don't we do it. And answer to that I don't know myself. But once in a while, all you need is a reminder. So, last in the list should be the reminder that we all deserve to feel good and be happy. If you love yourself and life that much, you'll have to work towards it.
• Before I go, I just want to say Fuck my List. Make your own and boogie your life away. After all, nobody knows you better than yourself (super chiché ) so, just follow your gut feeling. If your gut feeling fails you. Simple, follow the next gut feeling that follows. YAY!!!

P.S. When you make your list, do it in less than 5 minutes. Over thinking will lead you nowhere. Hasta luego.

.............................................................................................................