of the good times and the bad!!

     Think of all the good times you've lived through and the bad; Of the times you laughed the hardest and cried; Of the times you were growing up and of the present. Look at the pictures stored in your hard disk or that you've stacked into the box under the bed. They all include people don't they? We are ego-centric being and prolly will deny it, but get real and admit it "WE ARE FABULOUS SOCIAL BEING." Without all the people who we surround ourselves with, all we will be is the tooney-looney lonely person - deserted, unhappy and faltering.


     How time flies. Just the other day I was with a friend celebrating his birthday. Along the length of our conversation we somehow went down memory lane. The laughs we laughed three years ago made us laugh again. The mistakes that we made... now nothing but a mere sweet reminder of how naive and ignorant we were (naive + ignorant = childish = awesome!!). Sweet heavens, how time flies!!! I'm fumbling through old photographs (of when I was a child) saved in my hard-disk and with each I get excerpts from the past. I smile and notice how young and wrinkle free my mum and dad were. How they've toiled through years to give me the life I'm living now. They must have had dreams to travel to the world poles apart, to buy the latest trending things but oh'well decided otherwise (happily) because I was in their life. I pause at one particular picture... of my friend who passed away two years ago in a motorbike accident. I was not in Nepal and when given the news reacted in the only way I could - by going numb. In the numbness my mind usually shuffles through the piles and heaps of memory saved inside my brain. Now as I hold the picture I think less of accident but of the life we lived before the accident happened. We had plans for the future. We planned to travel together. We planned to be friends until we die and make wonderful memories. Alas!! His death taught me me a lesson that memories aren't made, memories happen as we live life. Its happening now as I type and now as you read. I smile and tell myself at least I had few short years of togetherness with him to be happy about now.


     I came to China to learn the language (call me a weirdo). After my arrival I was shocked to see how many foreigners were actually interested to study this swilling oriental language. I decided to stay longer and picked my bachelors study in Shanghai. Downside - I always meet these amazing people who come from all over the world to learn language but after the culmination of studies they have to leave. Few goodbyes are particularly hard as they are already friends. Specifically, about one year ago I bade farewell to people who were hard to let go. But birds migrate back to their home and there's nothing much to ponder about it. Just enjoy the view as they flay away hoping to meet back again under right circumstances. But I have memories and stack full of album to refresh it. I smile and decide to call them. Few hours of chit-chat rejuvenates me and I think about bottling the feeling. Hence the blog. My blog buddies, close your eyes (or not) and think of all the good times you lived through. I bet a curve will show up in your lips... hold onto that. I deduce that people around us matter to us more than we realize. So try to have a good time while they're still around and memories will just happen, you don't have to toil a single sweat to make 'em!! Word of advice to ya'all, "keep your cameras close - click and capture the moments *say cheese*"


     Caio Ciao:P As I type, I miss my mum!! Who do you miss the most?

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words = weapons

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt

     Like a razor sharp sword, words can help cut and trim the way for dramatic life changes and decipher hidden truths. Words can release intentions into the universe, and help us set goals, aspirations and describe dreams. Downside... same words mixed with evil intentions can also be used against us – to make us feel smaller, uglier or anything less than glorious. Spoken intently (depending upon the intention to be pious or evil), words can raise us up or tear us down. How wrong you are if you happen to think bullets and bombs to be the ultimate weapons of destruction. Try words. They can act like a slow poison... much like dementor's sucking the soul out of the body or can prove to be like a fatal knife culminating the life instantly. Pretend to be your strongest self but words can still affect you. I have come to learn that the person who claims to be the strongest isn't the one who cries the least but the one who cries the last. But then again who am I to deduce crying is weak. May be (just may be) those who cry easily and are pleased easily are in fact the bravest one; for they know we'll give it to our emotion sooner or later, so why wait and let pressure cooker effect sink in!!

     Touch wood, all of us have fail-safe mechanism when words are twisted to be used against us. As it turns out, each of us has a shield of protection. And trust me: I’m an expert. If I hadn’t used my shield of protection, I would have stopped many things (writing included) long ago. As I've mentioned time and again in many of my posts that nothing comes automatic. Learning to ignore the worst directed at you is very important. Correction, not ignoring but not choosing the worst directed at you as the priority is very important. I consider myself a mentally strong one and I advocate the same to others. I don't necessarily mean to be stone hearted but instead not react to negatives. In fact, you can become a cry baby if you want to, faint while you are depressed. You have to feel whatever it is that you need to feel but make sure you come out of it. Make sure you give self recovery a chance. Don't stay there and listen to mellow sad song when depressed but go out and try that new restaurant you've always wanted to try. March to the beat of your own drum and let not mundane little tittle tattle affect you. I’ve learned (quite effectively) to measure myself by my own internal standards – and not by the commentary or whims of other people. But then again easily said than done... but we should keep trying, right? Regardless of what people say or do, you are always free to react in the way that makes the most sense for you.


Three of my favourite words (that makes sense) :: Happy, Money, Life.
Three of my favourite words (that doesn't makes sense) :: Incognito, Serendipity, Chutzpah.
What are your favourite words my blog'buds?

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memories last a lifetime

     Sometimes I review notes of the latest story I am working on. As I sit there gnawing on the end of my pen, random new thoughts pass through my head and get cleared for take-off on their own connecting flights to oblivion. I scribble some quick notes as they lift off hoping the disjointed and haphazard nature of them may lead to a story. Mostly, though, I play games with the faces I see, and on the recent extended evening walk on the bridge (as discussed in my previous post shang-high-ness), that's all I ended up doing. Surge of nostalgic thoughts passed through my mind. Of the times I lived and laughed. Of all people I bade farewell to. Memory is a treasure valuable than gold and I know, all of you know that just right. Today, I share with you all something which is very personal and dear to me. Below is the poem that was written and sent to me about a year ago by a person who was and (still is) important to me. Though it might be meaningless to you all but it's one of the best gifts I've ever received... We lost touch eventually (because there was no other option, the way we saw it) but then again memories last a lifetime... this one certainly will!!

"poem through a grey sky

through thousands of miles

even through another life

you seized my mind...

a smile that never shivers

eyes burning in the inside

tanned skin

dark hair

this silhouette

deeply anchored in my mind

bringing a feeling of happiness in my soul 

warming a hand frozen by this land...

continue to move

continue to dream

burning down the roof

warming up the rift

cherishing this chance to share with you

some amazing moments in my life

souvenirs and memories

written in thoughts of scarf..."

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shang-high-ness

     I was walking through the village Thursday evening. Part of my stroll took me across newly completed bridge that binds together the two halves of Shanghai suburb. It was nearly evening and the weather was almost oriental. Fog clung the wet surface of the street's as an ambient drizzle gathered out of the cool night air. I was along on the sidewalk. The only noise was the tread of the occasional car as it made a sound that resembled the tearing of the paper. My view was directed south by the axis of track leading toward the city I call my second home - Shanghai. At the distance of short city block stood the train station. Perched in the darkness on the edge of the ravine, while below the tracks well illuminated in the amber glow of vapor lamps. On the weekends the train schedule is much reduced, so the station stood there just as empty and quiet as the tracks below. It was beautiful scene. It suggested more than emptiness - perhaps something like solitude. As I leaned on the railing I imagined that spot as I had seen it is so many times before - with the crowd of commuters bustling through the station on their way to the train. Too busy for breakfast, they scurry down and up the stairs briefcases and paper cups with little points of bakery paper sticking out of Burberry coats. The whole scene takes place in an appearance of an hourglass. A crowd routinely gradually filters through the narrow stair way landing on the platform below. I saw now the same vista now utterly vacant in a way that only a place usually crowded can be. The fog, the cold mist and the emptiness consumed my thoughts for a moment. I set my camera on a portrait, took a picture, and then wondered, "What could be so wonderful about being completely alone?"
What are your favourite things to do when you are alone?

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what meets the eye!!

     Before you proceed further and call me a shallow being, lemme announce loud and clear that I readily accept that I'm shallow as shallow can be and I intend to keep it that way. If you want to adjust your perspective in sync with mine, I'd say that the true mystery of the world is the visible not the invisible. The invisible part leaves too much space for our brain to chance upon lots of fabricated and imaginary stories. I care more about posh and dandy than the insightful and knowledgeable.


    When people add me in Facebook, particularly strangers, I peek in.. scrutinize.. and if I see posh and dandy face, I show the green signal. Don't judge me yet!! I know all of us are shallow in one ways or the other. I've been blessed with amazing people along the journey of life. The righteous thing that god (that is if god exists) bestowed me with is the series of events that led me to people that I've met in person or otherwise. I don't consider myself as a person who lives, breaths and be-friends internet. But then life has its way of letting us know that we are a creature and hence, bound by instincts. We as fragile and mortal humans, are bounds by our own set of instincts. We crave for intimacy. Our deepest source of inspiration in anchored upon the fact that we are bound with another fragile and mortal beings who tend to give us a feeling of being wanted. This very urge or shall I say need, made us social of all beings. And hence, we put ourselves out there in the map.. to talk, to shake hands, to laugh and above all to feel intimate with mortals just like us. Facebook, Twitter are just mundane portals which are nothing but a solid example of the fact that humans can go to any length to connect with other person who crave intimacy just as much as they do. Cutting to the chase and getting back to the topic, I chose to be an active Facebook/Twitter/Blog user not so long ago and quite interestingly found couple of people who connected with me and amazingly so. I laughed and clapped with them. I knew their likes and dislikes, where they worked and where they vacationed, who they loved and who they hated, we shared thoughts about the shallowest things possible and yet that brought me purest happiness. Yes with time I was turning into a Facebook/Twitter/Blog whore. But why would I care... am a shallow person, right? If shallowness (by worldly standards) means to be-friend people via. unusual portals, then yes I'm shallow. If shallowness is taking a time in a day to connect with people who are far and beyond and still care enough to come back to my shallow world to give me gush of happiness then yes I choose to stay shallow. I reconnected with my school friends (particularly two, who I call my Facebook queens - Mimi and Sabi). My queens we should have hung around together while three of us were in same country but then again we rule our Facebook'dom as of now. Its unusual to reflect upon the fact that we barely even spoke while at school (or may be we did of which I have no memory). I met my well wishers on my blog and as I always say when I started blogging I honestly don’t think I gave a shit whether I had 2 readers or 200 or 2000; the fact that some of you (particularly Shaku, Ronjana, Alice) have stuck around makes me very humble. I've found pleasures in the way Shaku and Sambid have let me grow in the platrorm I love the most - WRITING (and the funny thing I didn't know that I loved writing until i started lil' over three months ago)!!


     Shallow, to me is a beautiful thing without which everything becomes insightful, dingy and boring. Come to think of it, how stupid of us not to admit that shallowness is human instinct itself. We preach of things beyond our control like religion and space and yet shut our eyes to the misery right in front of us. You might say the world is turning materialistic and everything sells at surface value - superficial so to say but then again we are the ones who promoted materialism. Beauty products and bling-bling business accounts trillions of dollars in global market. Isn't it a proof enough that what meets an eye is much more important than what lies in heart. You may choose to react in the way that deem fit but lets not deny that shallowness is human virtue in lesser or greater degree. So why deny and shun away?


     "It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something", these are the beautiful words form the movie CRASH. Think about it. We lack intimacy and human connection because we are shallow or vice versa...

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if you think...

Just a reminder :: It's not my creation. Its one of those poems, you know the kinds you stumble upon and decide to bookmark because they inspire you so much. Yeah those kinds!! I compile such stumbles under the tag :: borrowed knowledge; so follow this particular tag if you want to go through my stumbles. and may I remind you that my stumbles are only positives, life is too short to give attention to negatives;)

IF YOU THINK

if you think you are beaten, YOU ARE

if you think you dare not. YOU DON'T

if you like to win but think you can't

its almost the clinch that YOU WON'T

if you think you'll lose, YOU'RE LOST

for out in the world we find

success begins with fellows will

it's all in the state of mind

if you think you are outclassed, YOU ARE

you've got high to rise

you've got to be sure of yourself before

you can even win a prize

life's battle don't always go

to the stronger and the faster man

but sooner or later the man who wins

is the man who thinks HE CAN...


:: and here's my geeky spec photo!! love them specs;)

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frig'n awesome mash-up!!

Don't worry, be happy -- Bobby McFerrin
I'm yours -- Jason Mraz
Somewhere over the rainbow -- Israel Kamakawiwo
Remixed by DJ Dain

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don't wear skinny JEANS if you don't have skinny GENES.

 fashion "dos" or fashion "how-tos"

     Let me start with a LOL to let all the fat people (who must be positively hating me for the title) know that I love you all. Okay, not in the ways how Romeo loved Juliet but I show certain affinity towards people who read my blog. Let me not beat around the bush and get it straight that I am not trying to get some fashion sense to the minds and lives of people who clearly are living-breathing stereotypical example of fashion faux-pas. Nor did I ever dream of becoming a fashion police, but we've seen those people who clearly are bit uneasy to an eye so much so that it hurts. And am not just talking about super fat people who wear skinny jeans with the weight that is literally worthy of O.M.G reaction, but all people who just don't get that whatever they are doing or wearing are clearly an act of a class clown. Some of you must be like "eew, Shailesh you are nasty and mean!!" Hello, am sure you aren't a saint yourself. How many of us have laughed at those people who audition for American Idol and X-Factor and clearly were derailed and delusional for doing so? How many of us have searched for funny videos on YouTube and laughed our ass off at somebody else's misery and accidents; eventually helping to spread those videos by sharing 'em on social tools like Twitter and Facebook? Listen blog buddies, we've all done it!! So, I know just right that you understood what I mean.  


     Sometimes I'm happy that Simon Cowell is there doing what he does best "whine about people." Because there are times he tells things to people which might bring them back to their normal senses and spare them the eventual heart break. What Simon Cowell tells them, to be honest, ought to be told to them by their mumsies in the first place. Following your heart is one thing but building a castle in the air without working our way to make a real one is not at all the dream chasing business. I encourage to chase after things you absolutely love but along the way understand the importance of the choice that has been silently bestowed upon us. The power to "quit at the right time" when its not too late.


     Somebody said world is your oyster and I'd say true that. There is absolutely too many things to see, to eat, to visit, to feel, to experience and new people to meet. Don't get stuck, don't get too comfortable with what you have. Love the things you do; meanwhile keep trying new things and rejuvenate. Who knows, prolly the new thing you'll pick up will pay you back handsomely. It sure does feel great to have CASH TO FLASH. Go to Bollywood/Hollywood to become an actor if you want to. But don't get too complacent and keep trying for 30 years only to realize one day that you could have been the greatest author. That'll be such a waste. Understand we've been told a lie time and often. TRY, TRY UNTIL YOU DIE ain't appropriate all the time it should instead be something like TRY, TRY UNTIL YOU QUIT. That's my point don't be stuck up. Use your body every which way you can before your body gives up on you and am not talking about sexual positions and flexibility. Go on a hiking trip, dance till you sweat bucket and the likes of such things. Change your hairstyle, your dressing sense time and again. You'd feel rejuvenated (trust me I might be a stuck up in many field but hair style... lets just say am a pro). Change how the furnitures are arranged in your room, try new restaurants, reach out to your neighbours and expand your horizons. We crave to feel alive but lemme tell you what I know with absolute certainty that noting comes automatic in life. We've to work to get things. Every push, every try will make a teenie weenie progress.


     So dontchu buy one pair of skinny jeans that looked real cool on Lindsy Lohan and get stuck with it forever. You and your body changes along the years, so change your style often not just to flatter others but yourself. And you must have realized that skinny jeans is just metaphorical in the post. It can be anything we've gotten too comfortable with over the years... look around you'll find ample things you don't need anymore in your life!! If possible replace 'em. Stay insanely happy *BIATCHES*

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what kinda drunk are you?

glee :: still from the episode "blame it on the drunk"

     Spare me, but people who are boozed-up are fun to watch. Few shots/drinks and we loose all our inhibitions. We have no problem telling "I am horny" to "I hate you" soon after we are intoxicated. As promised, here are the different types of drunk, the way I see it. Call it a life style (or drunk style) we all fall into one or two of these categories;) And deny as much as you want alcohols does bring forth either the funny or evil shades in us!!

1# "world is a happy place" kinda drunk :: Man some display of funny bone!! Am one of those people, you know the kinds who laughs hysterically and almost at everything. Call it laugh-y drunk or whatever but these kinds often roll over floor laughing even if they are told to SHUT-UP. The laughs are often accompanied with hugs and inclining to the friends sitting next to them. Do they even piss their pants (I wonder)? I am the certified laugh-y drunk but have never pissed my pants though... or have I? And try to tickle 'em they are overtly ticklish when drunk (just another reason to laugh I guess).

2# "stay away - I am a sociopath and potential serial killer" kinds drunk :: Hmm... they often creep around the corner and keep staring at the nothingness (literally)!! They drink all they want and are territorial (much like wolves, I say. LOL). Try to strike a conversation with them and they'll prolly give you this GODFATHER kinda intense look and you can only give this awkward smile and walk away. Who knows whats going on in the dark brain of theirs?? *clueless*

3# "I cut loose in the most dramatic kinda way" kinda drunk :: There's always this clown of the lot who runs around and loves to do crazy stuffs. When I say crazy its not "lets shoot some people" kinda crazy but much like buzz-kill types. They'd often ask you "lets play spin the bottle" or some other drunk games. Personally, I think some of them are tolerable but others are morons and deserves to get a bash on their drunk booty. Arsehoes, just keep dancing your weird dance and quit asking "do you want to play spin the bottle?" They are the kinds who you suddenly realize are funny. But behold... they'll retreat to their usual self almost seconds after sobering up!!

4# "I am horny and I know you are too" kinda drunk :: Its amazing how fast some girls turn into the Dirty Diana from the Ugly Betty. Even the geekiest and quietest girl turns into this slut who'd flirt with anyone (literally anyone). She'd touch Tom, kiss Harry, give a lap dance to Dick, tack up air kisses to random people, give some horny wink at janitor and have no inhibitions showing that they have "I am horny and just wanna get laid" syndrome. Ooh yeah!! keep looking for the occasional nipple slips and seemingly unintentional groin touches. As of guys, they are almost always horny, so nothing much to add LOL.

5# "I love swearing and I can do it in 10 different languages" kinda drunk :: Some of my best friends fall under this genre. They get caught up in whirlwind of drunken name calling that everyone becomes a slut and a whore, Afro-americans becomes nigger, teachers becomes a homo. Be good to them or else you are doomed. They will spread a rumor about you and will say that with utmost certainty that even you'll end up believing the rumor about yourself. BE AWARE!!

6# "Puta madre!! lets kick until one of us is dead" kinda drunk :: Ehh... they are the ones who'll bring occasional halt to the party. Glasses are broken, hulk-like bouncers show up, some are showed their way out and blah blah. They are almost always (when drunk) neurotically paranoid over other person as to how they are fucking up his/her chances with girls/boys. And I for one find cat fight hilarious. Its pandemic, I mean chicks would just pull each others hair and slap occasionally with incessant curses. I ABSOLUTELY love it;)

7# "Overtly touchy" kinda drunk :: Ass grabs, pat on the back and else where, tight thigh grabs, knuckles and punches (lil' too hard), and tight hugs (lil' too long)... C'mon all of you know this kinds. They'll make even the super drunk uncomfortable. Jeez, if you want to make out just let me know... subtle hints like this will make you look like a creep!!

8# "I will audition for AMERICAN IDOL like soonish" kinda drunk :: Hello, they might sound like a frog and dance like a hippo but they'll sing and dance anyway. Its easy to spot them. They'll sing louder than the rest of us and are often the last ones to leave the dance floor (o'course when they are told "STOP dancing or you'll die"). And this kinds are prolly the ones who'd end up losing the keys and wallet. (Wait... I keep losing 'em too *clueless face*).

9# "I am not drunk" kinda drunk :: They will have already pissed their pants, vomitted in one of the corners of the room, spilled "something-something" on unwashable white rugs, can be at the edge of passing out point with but o'course they will be shouting "I AM NOT DRUNK, *BIATCH*"... and the funny part is, these kinds are often accompanied by some worried souls who are constantly begging for him/her to stop drinking and to go home. Guess what he/she will reply --> "I AM NOT DRUNK, *DUMBASS*" Just spare them and enjoy yourself.

10# "I am brave" kinda drunk :: And how can I not mention the kinds who are motor-mouth and are overwhelmed by this overflow of self-esteem. They would say things that they've kept bottled up like forever. From proposals to "I have kissed a guy" confessions. From "I just broke up and in totally miserable state" to "lets fuck and make babies"... they'd literally say it all. And damn why do girls cry (mostly girls) when they are drunk? They suddenly become this cry baby and the other person is like *AWKWARD*

Whatever the type (and some I must have missed), getting drunk is better than being a teetotaler, as we need to cut loose sometimes. But all of us should know our limit and let it not be our addiction.
And if you're partying tonight and want to get perfect anti hangover tip... check this one out!! --> works for me;) <-- This one works like magic I tell'ya and thank me later;)

P.S. What kinda drunk are you? Hasta Luego.

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the thing called life;)

     Sometimes, things just don't happen the way you want them to. No one is immune from hurt, from disappointment. We all have our lessons to learn, and often that is when we learn them best; Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person, even when you don't want to be; Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and ask for help; Sometimes things just go wrong. Trains run late, the shop is out of the one thing you need, computers crash, keys and wallets get lost or stolen. It happens to everyone.

     Sometimes, people are just born with small minds and jealous hearts. There's not a lot you can do about it, except know that it's not about you; Sometimes, when we really want to say something nasty, we should say something nice instead. Honey attracts more flies than vinegar. It's easier to be negative, but so much nicer to put something positive out into the world. Don't be another grumpy person on the tube who never smiles.

     Sometimes we forget that people can't read our minds - only our actions; Sometimes it's just not your day. Or your week. Or your year. That doesn't mean that you can't make a fresh start, whenever you want; Sometimes you feel stuck, you feel as if things could have been much better - things shall pass and this phase surely will too.

     If I have any advice to share, it's don't wait. Don't wait to live your life. Don't wait until you lose weight, get a better job, move to a better area, get something published, meet someone. Start living now. Try to be happy within the context of where you are right at this moment. Learn to love the chilly days or the humid nights. Rejoice in crisp air or sun-warmed breezes. Drink hot chocolate, red wine and fruity minty iced teas, whatever the weather. Laugh. Listen to music you love as you travel to work. Dream and hope. Choose happiness. Choose to rise above.

(inspired from many schools of thought, and the piece you just read is an amalgamation of things n' thoughts I picked up from various sources, and that are worth being shared)
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